“All right,” said William. “I don’t want to stay here anyway. I don’t want to go on wastin’ my time tryin’ to help people that don’t want to be helped an’ that don’t know what’s an excitin’ party an’ what isn’t.” He rose with dignity from his seat on the hearthrug. “An’ I wouldn’t help you now, not if – not if you came on your bended knees beggin’ me to.”
He withdrew from the room, much impressed by his parting
speech. “Huh!” he said to himself, as he slid down the banisters and landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. “I bet they’re feelin’ small.”
- Number: 31.7
- Published: 1958
- Book: William’s Television Show
- Synopsis: William tries to enliven his parents’ anniversary.
Ethel and Robert reluctantly admit William into their plans for an anniversary party for their parents – and begin to regret their decision when his suggestions include “an animal show with Jumble an’ a stag beetle an’ Henry’s tortoise”.
When William nevertheless goes ahead and buys a white rat for the purpose, it causes chaos throughout the village… but Mr Brown doesn’t mind too much in the end.