Day 44: William All the Time

The facts

Mrs Brown found her voice. “Do you mean…” she gasped feebly, “do you mean that it was William all the time?”
“Mr Brown rose wearily. “Of course,” he said. “Isn’t everything always William all the time?”

  • Number: 4.4
  • Published: 1924 (1921 in magazine form)
  • Book: William the Fourth
  • Synopsis: William acts as Mummy Bear in a pantomime.

Verdict

Even the humiliation of playing a female was outweighed, for William, by the sheer joy of being a bear.

So much did he enjoy his role that he snuck away from the confines of the stage, and into the woods where he could be a bear without constraint.

William felt a deep and lasting affection for his bear-skin. He felt he could never endure to be parted from it. It gave him a thrill of pleasure unlike anything he had ever known before. He was a bear. He was a bear in a wood. He was riotously, blissfully happy.

Unfortunately, he over-exerts himself and his head becomes stuck in the costume. Unable to escape or even to speak, he desperately tries to find someone willing to release him.

But unaccountably, every room he enters seems to empty among howls of terror.

Things get a bit hairy towards the end where Mrs Brown sends for somebody with a gun. But luckily the run of William stories didn’t stop at its 44th instalment.